Whatever happens in your life, you can be sure of this: things are going to change.
As life goes on, you are faced with almost infinite changes. Some of them are small, such as a trying a new shampoo, and some are large, like getting a new job or moving house. Some changes are pleasant, but some are painful, like breaking up with a partner, or losing a relative.
Even if the change seems like a positive one, your reaction subconsciously plays on your mind. People don’t tend to think about the impacts of change, because they think they’re better at dealing with it than they actually are. This generation, whatever you want to call us, we accept that being a bit depressed is normal. It’s just how it is, that we are all a bit sad, a bit unhappy and dissatisfied. We’ve lost sight of that benchmark of what being optimal actually looks like. And a lot of people do just settle in general.
If we accept big changes without really dealing with them, things can fall apart. This goes for relationships, careers, and anything else, by the point you realise ‘oh God I’m actually really bad at dealing with change’, you’ve probably failed so badly it’s a lot harder to recover from.
Change elicits an ingrained stress response from us. It’s not something you can fight, but it is something you can work with.
So let’s look at 5 possible steps to help you through the changes that come up in life.
1. Identify what you can and cannot control
Change happens on both the micro and the macro scale. Some things you’re just not going to be able to control, like, for example, an economic crash.
You will find that you will feel better just knowing whether it is something you can control or not because you’ve actually consciously thought about it. Take a step back and think, what can I actually take responsibility for and do something about?’ And then maybe you can actually do something about it.
2. Make time to take care of yourself
Acknowledge that a lot of change is going to have a negative impact, so consciously make time for – I’d call it self love, time to actually appreciate yourself, whether it be meditation, reading, exercise, something productive.
If you’ve relocated to a new country or town, you might find you have periods where you feel down. But instead of burying it and pushing it down, spend time doing things you enjoy. By specifically addressing the change and actively try get involved, meet up with new friends, or if it is movies you are in to, then book that movie ticket and enjoy it in your new surroundings..
3. Work out your thought pattern
It is important to understand your own thought pattern. Try writing down your pattern from the start of the change to the end result and delve down into how the change actually feels.
There’s always one part of that pattern that’s not right. It’s because there’s an assumption or negative thought somewhere in there. Make sure every time that thought comes into your head, remind yourself of the one bit that was broken in the chain, and replace it with a positive version of that thought.
4. Be in the moment
You can’t control what happened in the past, and most of the time you don’t have control of what will happen in the future. But what you can control is how you feel right now, and more importantly how you react.
You’ve got to consider how your actions today will have an impact on how you feel in the future – everything has a consequence. Live in the now, but also focus on long term happiness over short term indulgence, because otherwise you will be unhappy in the future when you realise you have to do things you’ve been putting off. Sounds quite simple, but this will really take a lot of effort.
5. Identify what’s important to you
Finally, you should identify what means the most to you. People don’t spend long enough getting to know themselves and what’s important to them. You’ll do better at dealing with change if you work it out.
Good luck, and put yourself first.
SourcePublish Date: October 15, 2018 | Source: Business Insider | Author: Lindsay Dodgson